Posted by: Jo Banks
Train yourself to focus on what you have...
Over the weekend, I noticed that I was dwelling (or rather ‘obsessing’) on what I’ve not got rather than what I have. When finally awoke from my negativity stupor, it occurred to me just how rubbish I was making myself feel.
As we know, like attracts like (its fundamental law of attraction stuff), and as I was dwelling on lack rather than abundance, I was generally making myself feel pretty lousy. Whatever we focus on, not only do we feel it (as our bodies and minds are inextricably linked) but we attract more of it. Now, I’m very aware that wanting more can be a great motivator, as it can literally force us into action. However, it’s essential to get it in perspective.
When I finally noticed my negative thinking, I asked myself a few key questions (good questions are a brilliant way to get out of learnt helplessness):
Q: “Is there anything really wrong?”
A: “Nope, business is booming, clients are thrilled, and feedback is amazing. I love my life, and I’m happier than I could have ever thought in my new home.”
Q: “So, why do I feel so crappy?” (That’s technical coaching term!)
A: “Because I’m focusing on what I don’t have, not what I do!” (Lightbulb moment).
Q: “So what positive actions to I need to take to get the things that I don’t have yet?”
I then set about writing down my goals, together with why I wanted them (the ‘why’ is critical with goal setting, i.e. if the ‘why’ isn’t big enough, we’re unlikely to achieve it) and a step by step action plan for their attainment. I instantly felt more positive and in control.
It’s often the smallest things that make the most significant difference. So when you next notice any negative thoughts or feelings, look at where you’re placing your focus. Is it on abundance or lack?
Where focus goes, energy flows….
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