Posted by: Jo Banks
You CAN change others, but only if you change yourself first...
I often hear people say, "You can't change others, but you can change yourself”, but I don’t think that’s true. Technically you can’t change others, however, once you change yourself (your thoughts and behaviours) the other person has to change in response. It’s an automatic process which occurs in the subconscious.
If you’re struggling with a relationship whether it’s a work colleague or manager, partner, family member or friend, this exercise will help.
Read the instructions at least least once. When you’re familiar with the steps, try it with your eyes closed. If you’re not comfortable with that, open is fine:
If you see a video, run it a few times from beginning to end until it’s very easy to picture clearly and you can return to it instantly.
See what you’d see, feel what you’d feel and hear what you’d hear if it were real. Amplify all aspects as much as possible, as if it were real.
Keep practising, seeing that new picture or video as often as possible over the next 24 hours. The more you run/see it, the more you will notice that you that you feel quite differently when you think about the person than you did when you started.
When you change your thoughts, it automatically affects your behaviour. As a result, the other person has to act differently towards you. They may not be able to consciously pinpoint exactly what the change is (as that tends to go on in the subconscious), but they will, without exception, react differently, often without realising why.
In summary, the old adage, 'You can't change others but you can change yourself' isn’t strictly true. I prefer, 'You CAN change others but only if you change yourself first'.
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