Posted by: Jo Banks
Top tips on how to increase your chances of winning what is that you want...
Our drive to win is part of who we are it’s an inbuilt survival mechanism - competing for food, partners and power and its how we’ve evolved as a species. Winning unleashes our euphoric chemicals; it releases dopamine making us feel ecstatic. Serotonin drops (the chemical we release when we are under pressure/stress) endorphins are released and this causes changes in our physiology. It’s actually the same rush as sex ... it’s THAT important to us!
Good Luck vs Bad Luck
I’ve written in other posts about Good Luck vs Bad Luck (see Victim vs Owner):
‘Lucky’ people think that everything goes their way and their friends tell them the same. If they fail, they see it as an exception, they know it won’t last and don’t get down about it. Having a ‘lucky’ outlook is vital to being a winner, the more optimistic you are the better things become . Lucky people simply don’t give up, they always have hope, they continually review what is and what isn't working and take the consistent actions required to achieve success.
‘Unlucky’ people only see the negatives; they consider themselves to be inherently unlucky. They don’t believe that they can win and if they do win, they think it’s a fluke and don’t think it’s sustainable, which is a self fulfilling prophecy. As soon as something that they perceive as negative happens to them they announce, “See, I knew it couldn’t last”.
Positivity/Negativity, Lucky/Unlucky, Victim/Owner whichever term you wish to use, most of us fall in to one or the other category. In psychology, it’s called “The Locus of Control” ie how a person perceives their sense of control cover events.
The ‘Internal Control’ person will think that it’s them that influence outcomes, “I did that” they take responsibility for what happens in their world and deal with it accordingly. Whereas the ‘External Control’ person thinks it’s the outside world that influences them, it’s their fate or their destiny – they tend to not take responsibility or control of the things in their power but blame the outcomes on external forces when often, they could have done something (see my post 'Inside In or Inside Out').
We also need optimism to be a winner, although too much isn’t good either, we need to be realistic. Being positive but realistic leaves you open to more possibilities.
Winning is about thinking differently, seeing opportunities where others don’t – it’s a sure fire way of getting to the top. Taking advantage of an opportunity when you see it, being open and positive allows you to spot opportunities and opens doors.
Know your strengths and weaknesses
I’m always amazed when I ask clients what they consider their strengths and weaknesses to be, so few can answer me straight away and most have never given it any thought. If you don’t know, how do you know what to improve upon? How do you choose the right job or career for you? How do you know if you’re in the right job? How do you know what to do to make things better? The list of questions I could ask is endless. So before you do anything else, I suggest you write down at least 3 of your strengths and 3 of your weaknesses.
Now, beside the weaknesses, I want you to write down at least one action you could take to improve upon that weakness. When you’ve done that, I want you to pick one action and do it now ... don’t think about it, just stop what you’re doing and go and do it. Remember I’ve said before that you should never leave the scene of writing a goal without doing something towards its achievement? Well go, go and do it now!
In How to Win (Part 2) we'll look at opportunities and threats, the things that may derail you from achieving what you want. If you would like to know more about how you can win more often and more easily, please contact me for a free, no obligation conversation on how I can help you.
Is there something that you're struggling to win at? Contact us for a free, no obligation consultation about how we can help you.
Visit the website for Jo Banks' first book, Thoughts Become Things now available in paperback and Kindle formats.