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Quality Questions

Posted by: Jo Banks

Date: 07-04-2013

The questions that we ask ourselves affect every aspect of our lives, positively and negatively...

Whether you realise it or not, we all have the answers to our own problems within us. What a skilled coach will do is ask a series of pointed questions in order to pull those answers out of you. However, we don’t all have coaches on speed dial (although we should!), but we can ask ourselves better more empowering questions that will help us to find a solution to whatever the issue is.

The quality of the questions we ask ourselves is so important as we have the power to turn our situations from negative to positive and vice versa through our questioning process. I’ve talked about the Reticular Activator System (RAS) before, but in essence it is that part of the brain that has to go and find the answer to any question that we ask it.
Here are some disempowering questions that are likely to give a negative response if you ask them of yourself:

  • “Why can’t I lose weight” - “Because you’re fat and lazy”
  • “Why does this always happen to me?” - “Because you’re unlucky”
  • “Why does nothing ever work out right?” - “Because that’s just how it is”
  • “Why doesn’t this stuff happen to other people?” – “Because you’re a failure”

WHATEVER QUESTION WE ASK OF OURSELVES, WE WILL GET AN ANSWER – whether we like the answer or not. It’s therefore really important that the questions we ask are positive ones eg:

  • “What can I do to lose weight?”
  • “What can I do about this?”
  • “What else can this mean?”
  • “What can I learn from this?”
  • “How can I use what I’ve learned?”
  • “How can I turn this in to an opportunity?”

The second set of questions are much more empowering and as your RAS system HAS to give you a response, it’s likely that you will quickly find a solution or the right path to finding a solution for your problem more easily than asking poor/disempowering questions.

It seems incredibly simplistic, and it is. Listen to the types of questions you ask yourself.  If you're a negative person, can guarantee you’ll be asking negative questions which receive negative and disempowering answers.  If it helps, write some empowering questions down (the ones above are a good start) and keep them somewhere accessible so that you can start to break your old ‘helpless’ questioning habits and replace them with better ones.

Give it a go, you’ve nothing to lose. Have fun!

If you need assistance changing your unhelpful thinking patterns, give us a call for a free, no obligation consultation on how we can help you.

JO's FIRST BOOK: Thoughts Become Things

Visit the website for Jo Banks' first book, Thoughts Become Things now available in paperback and Kindle formats.