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Victim vs Owner/Lucky vs Unlucky

Posted by: Jo Banks

Date: 15-10-2015

Are you a Victim or an Owner?  Glass half empty or glass half full person? Lucky or unlucky?  Read on to understand how you view of yourself and your life is affecting everything...

With the work that I do, I've found that you can pretty much split the poplulation in to two types of people ... Victims and Owners (you could also use lucky/unlucky, but I think the Victim/Owner labels are much better descriptions).

So, let’s look at some definitions:

VICTIMS

  • Victims continually moan about their situation but rarely do anything about it usually for one or combination of the following reasons: 
    • They don’t want to (yes honestly – some people just revel in negativity
    • They don’t know that they can
    • They don’t know how to
  • Nothing is the Victim’s fault.  Their situation/whatever’s happening to them is always due to someone or something else eg the government, their mother/ father/ husband/ children / sister/ brother/ boss/ employer/ life!
  • If anything good happens to them, they complain, “well it’s bound to go wrong”
  • Think they’re unlucky
  • Think and say things like “It’s alright for [him/her/them] they’re this that or the other”
  • Believe that nothing good ever happens to them
  • Push issues under the carpet in the hope that they’ll go away
  • Feel sorry for themselves most of the time
  • Think everyone’s out to get them
  • People avoid them
  • Display negative body language and speak negatively almost continuously
  • Are ‘glass half empty’

OWNERS

The complete opposite to Victims: 

  • Take control of their lives
  • Are fundamentally happy
  • Deal with issues as they arise in a positive way
  • See the good in people
  • Don’t take no for an answer
  • Look for the positives in a situation
  • Keep a positive outlook and think positive thoughts no matter what’s happening
  • Don’t dwell on the negative
  • Bounce back quickly from adversity
  • Look for opportunities
  • Don’t think too much about what other people think of them
  • People want to be around them – they’re fun, give off amazing energy and people gravitate towards them
  • Are ‘glass half full’

 

So is it that Owners don’t have the problems that Victims have?  Are they somehow miraculously shielded by a Super Hero cape that protects them from anything bad happening to them?  Absolutely not,  they are affected by illness, money issues, family problems, floods, fires, losing their jobs/business, births, marriages and deaths the same as Victims.  So, what is the difference then?  The difference is how they think and feel about what’s happening to them.  The Owner either consciously or unconsciously chooses to think positively about their life and the situations that arise.  That’s it!  That’s all there is.  That’s the only difference.

They are no luckier than a Victim; they just choose to see things in a more positive way and because they have that positive view, they are ultimately much more resourceful.  Their mind isn’t clouded by doubt, sadness, apathy, negativity and therefore they see things more clearly and are able to take positive action.  They view situations without negative emotions which enables them to deal with things more effectively.

If you’ve been reading my other posts, you must be seeing a theme by now.  Thinking positively changes EVERYTHING.   It’s possible to start to think more positively and move from being a Victim to an Owner even if you’ve had a lifetime of negative thoughts.  I’m testament to that.  I used to be unbelievably negative until I realised that I actually had a choice and activity stopped my negative thinking.  I’m not saying that I’m positive every second of every day, it’s definitely a work in progress, but if I notice any negativity creeping in, I deal with it ... quickly before it takes a hold, using the techniques I've been explaining in my posts. 

So how do we actually make that transition from negative to positive, Victim to Owner?  Well believe it or not, you’ve already started.  By the mere fact that you’re reading this means that you are now aware that you have a choice, if you weren’t already aware.  You should also (if you’ve been reading my other posts) be recognising negative thoughts when they occur and hopefully be changing them to positive ones.  If you’re not sure how to do that, it’s much more simple than it sounds:

How to change negative thoughts

As soon as you notice a negative thought, think of something you love, a family member, a pet, a sunny day, anything that you love, that makes you smile and gives you a warm feeling inside.  Positive and negative thoughts cannot occur at the same time and therefore one cancels out the other, just make sure it’s the right one!

The more you practise positive thinking, the easier it will be and the better your life will become.  You’ll notice situations aren’t so difficult, people react to you in a much more positive manner, strange ‘coincidences’ will start to happen and you’ll start to feel happier and more contented.  We weren’t born to be sad, unhappy and negative, they’re just unhelpful  behaviours that we’ve learned along the way.  By the same measure, you can learn new happy, positive behaviours to replace them.

 

Being a victim or being an owner is a choice.  Successful people tend to be owners; they take responsiblity for everything that happens to them, they ask better questions, plan and take consistent action.

If you'd like help with leading a more positive life, contact us for a free no obligation consultation on how we can help you.

 

 

JO's FIRST BOOK: Thoughts Become Things

Visit the website for Jo Banks' first book, Thoughts Become Things now available in paperback and Kindle formats.