Posted by: Jo Banks
Are you one of those people who says, "I'll be happy when..."
I meet so many people who, when I ask about them how happy they are, they tell me, "I'll be happy when...
"… I get my new house."
"… I get my new car."
"… I find a husband/wife."
"… I get a new job."
"… My children go to University."
"… I'm earning more money."
"… I can afford to go on holiday/get that new sofa/get a new kitchen/finish the house/buy what I want."
“… I reach my goal(s)”
They think that they'll be happy when something outside of them happens. They mistakenly think that when they achieve, buy, attain, obtain something or someone that they’ll miraculously be happy, which is a common misunderstanding.
Your happiness does not depend on anything external. Your happiness is right inside, you right now; you just need to recognise it. When we’re focused on the future, we aren’t able to enjoy and feel happy about what is happening now and we've all heard the term, 'tomorrow never comes'.
When you project your happiness into the future, you create strong neural pathways, conditioning your brain to believe that happiness is always in the future. So when you do get that new house/car/husband/wife/partner/child, your mind still believes that happiness is in the future and so your ‘happiness goals' change. You'll then typically find yourself saying, "I'll be happy when I get a second house in the country/a bigger car/two cars/an even better job" etc.
Look back at the things you have now that once thought would make you happy if you had them. Did they make you happy and if so, for how long? How quickly did you find yourself looking for the next thing to make you happy?
You'd be surprised how many unhappy/depressed millionaires there are out there. You hear in the press all the time about this or that millionaire/film star/musician/athlete suffering from depression and ending up in rehab or worse. They have every material thing they could ever wish for and are still unhappy. That's because they're looking for happiness outside themselves.
How to lead a happier life
So how do we find our happiness right now? Stop and look around you, look at the good things you have in your life right now and BE GRATEFUL for what you do have. Get into the habit of thinking about them, giving thanks for them and loving them. Gratitude is so important and builds deep, positive neural pathways in the brain the more we conscious notice and are grateful for what we have. Once we sit back and take time out to be grateful for what we have - and we all have something that we're grateful for, whether we choose to believe it or not - it puts us in a much more positive frame of mind which affects everything.
Here are some of my top tips for leading a happier life:
If you need help refocussing your life, making it more positive and fulfilling, contact us for a free, no-obligation conversation about how we can help you.
Visit the website for Jo Banks' first book, Thoughts Become Things now available in paperback and Kindle formats.
Visit the website for Jo Banks' new book, Land Your Dream Job Now! now available in paperback and Kindle formats.